San Francisco has long been a major port of arrival for Easterners entering the Western world, and the city is home to the world's largest Chinatown. Following Chinese émigrés to the Bay City, whether en route inland to see friends and family or simply on vacation, can reward even those visitors already familiar with “AAAA” tourist sites like the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz.

The Rock is a toothless terror, even on the prison’s evening tour. The yolky sunset filters warmly through the bars, draining the prison of its former menace, like its most famous inmate, Al Capone, delirious with syphilis by the end of his stay. For a more novel take on criminals of old, visit the Pirate Store at 826 Valencia Street.

Found among the taquerias and dive bars of the Mission district, the Pirate Store is replete with all the goods you’ll need to resurrect good old fashioned, pre-intellectual property piracy. Its wares include treasure maps, wax stamps, glass eyes, eye patches, pirate flags and peg legs. There are also fake beards recommended by satisfied customers Dread Captain Bess (“Like my own beard! Lice too!”), Bloody Bruce Wallace (“Itchy, but smelly.”), and Black Mary Fuentes (“Hard to remove.”).

The Pirate Store was started by author Dave Eggers and others from his publishing house, McSweeney’s. While irreverent – one patched pirate is rumoured to have lost his eye while cutting his own bangs in a sea storm – it is far from irrelevant. The store serves as an enticement to school kids who meet volunteers there to receive help with their homework and creative writing.

The store features an overhead trapdoor that drops mops on unsuspecting customers. Thoughtfully, advice for how to take a mopping gracefully is provided: “Do not tense yourself against the mops. That will only make it worse. Instead, relax completely. Think of yourself as wet vermicelli and the mop-heads as a warm buttery sauce.”

Another highlight is the tub of mariners’ lard. Instructions for its use include, “#2: Skin Moisturising” and, “#11: Gift Wrap.”

Pirate Store, 826 Valencia Street, The Mission

Just down the road from 826 Valencia is Modern Times Book Store, where you can find a range of books on the multicultural/anarcho/feminist philosophies you half hope and wholly expect to find in San Francisco. The store has fiction, graphic novels and children’s books too, and hosts very popular readings. When Miranda July read there she was forced to perch on top of a bookshelf so everyone could see her.

Modern Times Book Store, 888 Valencia Street, the Mission. Web: www.mtbs.com

Another often overlooked San Franciscan treasure is buried between the major tourist sites of North Beach. The Musée Mécanique is located in a warehouse on Pier 45 between the baking, barking seals on Pier 39 and the sourdough bread bowls of clam chowder at Fisherman’s Wharf.