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opinion:
Relevant Authorities, Pilot Measures

Under regulations promulgated by the State Administration of Culture & Fisheries and included in the 12th Policy Framework of the Third Consultative Congress on Literary Affairs & Heavy Industry, it is strongly urged that local authorities increase the public’s awareness. Moreover, the relevant authorities, working closely with the appropriate bodies, should place a strong emphasis on the implementation of the measures.

The pilot project must have the full support of the people, for it will be implemented on a trial basis in six pilot cities for six months. The pilot cities will be named some time after March 2011. It is further stipulated that a crackdown will commence after further consultations with the pertinent officials. This is consistent with the third rule of the Seventh Committee on Rules, Responsibilities & Banquets.

As a nation of laws, nose rings and eyebrow studs are banned unless worn by ethnic peoples on a trial basis. The ban extends to nipple rings and tattoos depicting revolutionary heroes and NBA players in an unfavorable light.

Be kind to foreigners! In keeping with the clauses contained in the Framework on Friendly Relations with the Others, approved by several ministries. The enforcement of the policy is up to the discretion of the central office, but local officials are urged to do many things related to the policy.

The law shall be followed to the letter. On a trial basis, judges will wear robes, especially on solemn occasions when an individual is upset about something that does not affect the entire nation. More on laws later, perhaps.

Let us now turn our attention to facts and the opacity of commercial activities in the coastal regions, first promulgated at the 17th reunion of the class of ’78. Members of the class will lead large enterprises in such a way as to appear competent. Irregular practices are an aberration and not standard operating procedure. Random audits will be conducted with plenty of advance notice on a trial basis. Fiduciary responsibility and best corporate practices will be addressed at the 25th reunion, with snacks and small gifts.

On the matter of nepotism, the legislature will enact laws which stipulate that persons not related to the chief officer, nor in the employ of the deputy, or the only son of a handsome and likeable middle manager, shall never be permitted, unless otherwise stipulated, to run subsidiaries or play baccarat in Macau, without the written consent of a parent or legal guardian, on a trial basis.

Furthermore, the relevant spokespersons of the primary agencies, in keeping with the temporary laws on disclosure of mistresses and Swiss bank accounts, shall always be humble if and when they become the focus of online rage.

Moreover, the standing committee can sit, but the sitting committee must never stand down, without due cause (such as unseasonable weather). The various pilot projects of the standing committee shall be fully funded unless the people catch on. All possible measures shall be explored by an exploratory committee, which will, in turn, make recommendations and suggestions on proposals first promulgated by the procurator in the First People’s Secondary Association of Science, Technology & Pop Music, on an interim basis.

Finally, relevant watchdogs and semi-autonomous regulatory bodies will enforce, up to a point, the provisional rules, notwithstanding the intervention of higher bureaus and agencies, which may, depending on the scope of their interests and hobbies, decide to do stuff that doesn’t necessarily conform to the alluded-to regulations, which are, after all, only words, which no nation is bound to interpret the same way as say, Mali. 

There shall be no ambiguity in any and all measures intended to sustain and develop for the betterment of the people, and insofar as it remains a matter of discussion and deliberation, it shall not be deemed vague to say that the matter is settled once and for all, unless it upsets a lot of the people most of the time, or is somehow not in keeping with the views of a supreme body with close ties to the framers of the initial framework.

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