If you want to get rich (who doesn’t?!) it’s not so difficult la. It may seem really difficult in the beginning, almost impossible, like climbing Mount Everest in loafers without socks. But once you get the hang of it, it’s truly easy la.

For starters, you don’t need a Harvard degree or friends in high places to get rich la. You don’t even have to be clever. Lolz. In fact, being intelligent and having a conscience can get in the way of untold wealth. All you really need is the ability to confuse and bully little people. Lmfao!

Here is what you do: find an old factory with poor ventilation in a tropical place and set up a chemical plant la. Now you're cooking – or at least your employees are – and on your way to great fortunes and perhaps some litigation la.

But don’t stop at your first chemical million! There’s much, much, more to be made in this cRaZy riCh wOrlD. Lolz! Get into manufacturing cheap goods in PoOr coUntRies la. It’s so easy imho!

Wuzzup? Don’t be shy about exploiting labour; they are just happy to have a job! Hmmm… If they complain about workplace conditions – a 50 year old loom is only dangerous if you get your arm caught in it! Wa kakaka – just fire them and hire more!! There is an endless stream of workers out there who want to buy stuff they see on TV la!

Ok la. By now you should be fairly well off. Not 70-foot-yacht-at-Cannes rich, but rich enough to have a few very sexy lady friends and nine or 40 apartments in ten or 12 cities. Now it’s time to get really super rich la. This is when it starts to get more fun la. Because getting rich is easy la! Lolz.

It’s very important to remember that even though you have money now you should not spend any of it. Keep it in a bank in Zurich la. Make your working class friends pay for dinner la, and take advantage of discount days at the hypermarket na ka. The secret to staying rich is to be a supa-cheapie! People will continue to be nice to you even if you don’t spend any of your moola; it is your potential to hand out money that prevents them from punching you in the neck la! Sooooooo nice. Lmfao, again!

By pinching pennies, making chemicals, buying widgets for a dime and selling them for ten dollars, you are ready to enter the big leagues. Using information you obtain from other moguls in your wine circle, you begin investing in stocks. Not like some punter la, but with “special knowledge.” It is so easy to get super rich when you got sPeciAl knoWledGe la la la!!! Hehe.

It may be true that great wealth doesn’t guarantee happiness, but, as a wise sage once said: it is better to weep bitter tears in the back of a Bentley than laugh holding hands on a park bench laaaaaaaaaaaa.