2 – The number of dimensions that you won’t be able to watch Avatar in Shanghai. That's too bad – from what we’ve heard, the special effects are a little over-the-top and get in the way of a very thought-provoking story. No, we haven’t seen it.

384,000,000 – The number of Chinese netizens who were potentially treated to uncensored search results after Google.cn announced it may heroically cast off its filters in orgasmic defiance…kind of. Having been met with bemusement by the government, everyone’s wondering what Google will do next. We hope they’re feeling lucky. 

7 – The number of Chinese cities, including Shanghai, which will begin a program with the goal of going smoke-free. The decision was made at a meeting in Beijing on Wednesday. On a completely unrelated topic, we heard last year that China was committed to its goal of becoming the world’s biggest tobacco producer in 2010...

1,400 – The average nightly cost in RMB of a five-star hotel during the Expo – roughly a 20 per cent rise on the norm. Ha! Take that, tourists! What’s that you say? That’s still a bunch cheaper than where you came from? Oh.

13 – The number of ‘vulgar content’ keywords being used to judge the purity of SMS messages sent in Shanghai, in an effort to curtail pornographic spamming. Don’t panic – only those sending over 50 ‘yellow messages’ per minute will face consequences, so only genuine spammers and sickening perverts are likely to be affected.

70,000 – The number of Expo volunteers selected from the 560,000 that applied. Applicants ranged from ages six to 99. Meanwhile, the war on pyjamas continues.

- Compiled by Alex Taggart