See My Vest

What’s cooler than being shot in the torso? If you answered ‘not being shot in the torso’ then the 3rd Space FPS Gaming Vest probably isn’t for you. For the rest of us, the vest is the best way to finally feel some of the pain that over 40 different first person shooters always intended us to feel. The vest, which connects to PCs, the Wii and the Xbox via USB, has four pneumatic air pockets on the front and four more on the back. These pockets are capable of instantly inflating to simulate pistol and Uzi shots, explosions, stabbings and the impact of falls from great heights. Sure, you won’t contract gangrene from any of these wounds, but it’s a start.

Price: RMB 950 (including two games). Web: http://tngames.com/products

Presenting the Troops

I never really understood what the Swiss Army did that required those multi-tools they’re so well known for. Can’t you be neutral without a knife? It turns out those early knives were really just the humble precursors to a knife the Swiss Army can really put to use. The Presentation Master is perhaps the most comprehensive piece of military-esque equipment ever developed for delivering Power Point Presentations. The device has a 16GB USB stick, a laser pointer, and a Bluetooth remote for flicking through slides, all of which run on a lithium-ion battery. It also has fingerprint encryption so state secrets – like the fact that landlocked Switzerland has a navy – never get out. There’s also a knife, scissors and a nail file, because enemies are intimidated by neatness.

Price: RMB 1,600. Web: www.swissarmy.com

Take Charge

The most powerful personal solar panel on the market these days is the Joos Orange Solar Charger. (You’ll notice they elected not to call it the ‘Orange Joos’, which might infringe on the legal rights of orange juice, which is also powered by the sun, in combination with air, water, an orange tree and a juicer.) The Orange has a 5,400-milliamp-hour lithium-ion battery, good for at least 1,000 cycles. Beneath a regular sun you get two hours of 3G talk time for every hour of charging, so you can expect at least one hour talk time for two hours under the tepid star that hovers over China. Full, the Orange can recharge four empty iPhones. The rugged, waterproof panel is about the size of a TALK magazine and weighs less than a kilogram.

Price: RMB 680. Web: Solarjoos.com

Microsoft Kin

Microsoft has just released two new smart (ish) phones designed to facilitate and accelerate the increasingly twitchy inter-dynamics of our online lives. The Kin One and Kin Two both have great cameras, multi-touch screens and slide out QWERTY keyboards but it’s the interface that distinguishes them from other phones on the market. The focus is on social networking, sharing photos and videos (all of which are automatically uploaded to the user’s online Kin page) and commenting on people’s statuses. There’s even a dedicated emoticon button. >o<

Price: TBC. Web: http://kin.com

Oops Tech

Tech blog Gizmodo got its mitts on the as yet unannounced fourth generation iPhone after an Apple employee had one too many beers at Redmond’s Gourmet Haus Staudt. Purportedly, the Apple engineer was test driving the new phone, disguised to look like an Apple 3GS, but upped and left without it after consuming a few of Germany’s more robust brews. The found phone is squarer, features a camera on the front, a better camera on the back with a flash, and a significantly higher resolution screen.

Web: www.gizmodo.com

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