So Easy to Get Married and Fall in Love Le!
Writer’s note: This is the second lifestyle essay in a series designed to help young adults simplify the process of self-actualisation. Based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the essays fall into the self-help canon only in that they are intended to help single adults navigate wealth acquisition and find true love and meaning in their poor, loveless lives.
One day you wake up and decide that it is super good to be married and within three weeks you are married – maybe even in love. But is it really that easy? Hrrmmmm. Yaya! It really is that easy to get married and grow into love la! Let’s be practical, pragmatic and prudent. It is not so important to fall in love first (common mistake!). The key is to convince yourself you have fallen in love with the adequate person of your sweet sweet dreams after marriage. Coolio!
Ok la. Okie dokie. Roflmao. Wtf! Everyone needs to get MarRied!!! Waka Waka. To make a family happy is easy, too, my dear. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The first step to easy marriage is to find the appropriate-adequate-satisfactory person to marry. There are millions of such people out there with cars. Excited? Lolz. Good luck, good fortune and auspiciousness abound on the planet. Wow! Lmfao!
Who are you going to marry? Toxic girl, cutie boy? Hahahaha! No! Well, maybe you have it in your mind to marry a foreigner. Hehe. They usually have improved manners but these days they are not so rich. WTF! Maybe family insists on blood purity? Oh, btw, what’s your blood type for the record????? Is he Jewish, Turkish, does he drink, smoke? Ak ak ak. You better find out, my dear. I luv u – easy to say and do if u believe!
Are you confused about the meaning of all this? Welcome to the world of LoVe! Just pretend love is less confusing. Do it like you see it done on TV. Use movies as a guide to domestic bliss like I do. Because Mr Right is not a fiction. And Miss Right is Carrie! I wanna be like her! Ack Ack! She really understands love.
Don’t be so picky. Life is short. Good enough is great.
The diamond ring is so very integral to everything. It is a sparkly universe, full of love meaning and you can also pawn it and buy a Mini Cooper if things don't work out le. But we digress, when really what we mean to say is that there is no secret to getting married and finding love. All you got to do is will it. Before bed, say to yourself, that person I work with is decent and law abiding and makes a handsome salary. Let’s tie the knot! Omg! I'm married! Time to zzzzzzz. Wake up. I'm still married. ;-D
When you think about it, Shanghai is really a very romantic city, kinda like love central. Love is in the air here, along with some fairy dust from the bus that just whizzed by with a potential spouse in it. Yo!!! It so easy to fall in love in this romance city! Wow! Then we can share the sadness of falling out of love with frenz, too. Lolz. Lalala. It’s soooooooo easy!
If you want to find a partner for life, a soul mate, it is important to wear something fashionable and to be agreeable. Hold a glass of Bordeaux in your hand, swirl it, give your love target a sexy sidelong glance. It’s so not complicated. Exchange numbers. Have coffee once, dinner once, lunch twice – then you are ready for conventional sex, followed by marriage, the purchase of a puppy and subsequently love. Begin love in springtime and end it in autumn. Soooooooo romantic!
