feature: Single in the City
It’s often just used as a good excuse to get a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates, but when it comes down to it, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of all that lovey dovey stuff too. With cupid on his way, we scope out how Shanghai’s singles can meet, mingle and get busy in this city.
Online Dating
The online meet market has become increasingly popular over the years. Take plentyoffish.com for example, a free online dating site that currently has 16 million users worldwide.
“Online dating is a great way to save time and money, especially on Plenty of Fish, which is free,” says Kate Bilenki, the website’s spokesperson. “Needless dates and bar nights can be avoided by ‘pre-screening’ potential dates.”
Most dating websites involve creating an online profile, where you answer a series of questions to introduce yourself to other users. You can then browse and screen member profiles to find potential dates, and contact them through private messages.
Alicia Kay, who moved from Australia to Shanghai four years ago, started using Plenty of Fish and smartshanghai.com’s dating website about six months ago after a recent separation.
“I thought I’d give it a try, and at first, it was quite good. It’s a boost for your ego when a lot of nice guys send messages, asking to meet you,” she says.
“There are times when you’re out at a bar and see a cute guy, but you can’t get the nerve to go up and say something to them. But online, you can just send them a message. It’s a little bit easier to do.”
Still, Kay says she remains skeptical about dating websites. She’s been on nine dates (and still casually sees one of the men from time to time) and has made new friends in Shanghai, but online dating has yet to deliver Mr Right.
“You also get these really weird guys who want to meet you,” Kay says. “I’m 44, and on one of the websites, I had men as young as 25 and as old as 65 sending messages to me. I couldn’t believe it. Either they were really desperate, or maybe the younger ones think I’m a cougar.”
After Christmas, Plenty of Fish usually sees a hefty 30 per cent jump in users, Bilenki says, most likely because more people are ready to start dating in a new year.
So what’s the best way to make an alluring profile?
“My suggestion would be to describe yourself and who you are looking for in as much detail as possible,” Bilenki says.
Kay on the other hand, has more specific advice.
“I always avoid the ones that have spelling mistakes,” she says. “It takes two minutes to read over your profile, so I figure, forget it if you can’t even do a quick spell check.”
Plenty of Fish, worldwide meet market: www.plentyoffish.com
Jiayuan, popular local Shanghai dating website: www.jiayuan.com
SmSh Dating, catered to English-speaking expats and locals in Shanghai: www.smartshanghai.com/dating
Fridae, empowering gay Asia: www.fridae.com
(Continued on next page)
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