My Shanghai Bucket List
By Leah Stickley
Previously, I wrote about having a check list of things to do such as packing, shipping, ending leases, saying goodbye and also completing your personal bucket list. If you haven’t seen the film of the same name, a bucket list is basically a list of things you want to do before shuffling off this mortal coil, or in my case, shuffling from my Shanghai life to the next – in the UK.
A bucket list helps you focus on getting closure. Once the items are completed, it’s easier to say, ‘I’m happy to move on. I’ve achieved what I planned to do, and I have no regrets. Goodbye Shanghai.’ This may sound melodramatic but from past experience I know it helps. When I left Leeds in the UK in 1992, I told everyone I’d be back to visit. I didn’t do anything special and I didn’t have a proper farewell party. I did go back after a year to see the ex-boyfriend. Because I had left without tying up loose ends, I needed to go back and get closure. That trip was enough to know that I had made the right decision, and now I only regret wasting time thinking the grass was greener in Leeds than in Paris! Duh!
The second time I left a place (Paris 1999), I learned from experience and organised several farewell parties. I also made sure I visited my favourite spots for the last time. I roamed the new eateries on Rue Oberkampf, wandered down Rue de la Roquette and around La Marais one more time and went to watch the boats circling Ile Saint Louis. I had no illusions that I would be back soon.
I have learnt that it’s best to leave a place with no regrets. No people I wished I’d said good bye to, no places I wished I’d visited. No activities I wished I’d done. Hence the bucket list. In the spirit of the book Friends Like These, there were a few people I wanted to see once more to clear the air as it were. Bizarrely, I bumped into those very people one after another in the space of a week. I’m glad this happened as I can leave knowing that the past has been forgiven. Even an ex-lover got in touch indirectly via LinkedIn’s ‘people who viewed me’ function. I had wondered what happened to him.
This brings me to my personal Shanghai Bucket List. I’ve sat on this for two weeks thinking about what I want to do and see for the last time. Sadly, or happily whichever way you look at it, the list is short. Before knowing when I was going, I did have a longer list of trips I wanted to take – return trips to Vietnam, Japan and New Zealand and a trip to Tibet, Chengdu and northern Xinjiang. I also had a grand plan of revisiting all the places I’d visited to lay them to rest. The lesson learnt from Leeds is ‘Leave the memories alone. Move on. Move on. There’s no going back, only forwards.’
The main thing on my Shanghai list is food. No surprises there really, as when you compare the offerings in small town Britain and large metropolis Shanghai, it’s a no-brainer. Xiaolongbao is definitely up there at the top, and I’m going to follow up a few leads for ‘the best in town’. Definitely Southern Barbarian for the fried cheese, that delicious fish dish and those grandma's mashed potatoes, Di Shui Dong ribs and then Gu Yi ribs just to remind myself which are best, Bi Feng Tang (for old time’s sake) and maybe even a Wagas' chicken and pesto wrap to go. Dumplings, luo si bing, guo tie and sheng jian – I love sheng jian. Or is it the vinegar I like? In fact a trip down a food street will do. I want to go to Hai Di Lao one more time – I miss hotpot already. Oh and 1221 for that shredded duck dish – I could eat a whole one myself. In fact, that’s what I’m going to do!
After food, there’s drinks. I can see a pub crawl in the making here. Most of the places are for the memories and not particularly because I like to drink (much). Here’s the bar/pub crawl list; unfortunately, the original Windows and the Maoming Lu stretch of bars have gone. As has Mesa Manifesto, that stalwart of 1980s music for the 40 somethings. Luckily, there are some bars which have survived the years, and they’ll be on the list: Big Bamboo, Malone’s (Art 6 still rocking!), The Glamour Bar, Velvet Lounge, Barbarossa, Kaiba (Kangding Lu), The Shed (because it’s next door to Kaiba!) and Nova for genuine French service. For some reason, I never made it to The Fat Olive (Xizang Lu) nor the Captain’s Bar; they are on the list too! Hey, it may not be the most sophisticated or exciting of lists, but it’s my list. Get your own!
After all this eating and drinking, you would think I’d need to walk a little. That’s next. A stroll down the Bund, a ferry across the river and a stroll up the east side. A last wander around Taikang Lu, Dongtai Lu to laugh at the ridiculous starting prices for their antiques and Sinan Lu, stopping off in Fuxing Park for a cup of tea while watching the ballroom dancers. Finally, a last hot stone oil massage at Peony on Dagu Lu.
What’s missing from this list is shopping. Been there done that many times over. The only thing I’d like to buy is some pieces of art from local artists, but that will have to be on a return trip when I have enough money! I’m aware that I haven’t reached the stage of famine buying yet – snapping up those items that I can’t get in the UK like the loose tea-leaf bags you can get at Jiuguang and wolf berries for RMB10. I’ll probably go mad shopping for tea – tieguanyin, pu’er, longjing, maofeng… the list goes on.
So, no regrets. Or maybe one. I haven’t made it to Moganshan to experience the famed calm and quiet. I hear that it’s getting busier and busier though, so maybe it is best I don’t go. I did make it to Guang Jie Monastery in Zaoxi which was definitely calm and quiet.
Before writing this blog, the novelty and newness of the idea of moving back to the UK had begun to wane. Life continued on as normal. I got up, went to work, sent emails, made phone calls, did the shopping, cleaning and washing. Now, the act of creating a bucket list has re-energised me. I’m getting excited again about leaving, but this time because of the fun I’m going to have in a glorious finale of eating, drinking, strolling and pampering.
To read more of Leah's journey back home, check out her blogs at http://shanghai.talkmagazines.cn/special/repatriation
